Anthology of Interest 3
by Speciall Ed
Summary: The Planet Express Crew take turns asking the What If machine some questions. Chapter 4: Fry. Discontinued.
1. Chapter 1: Bender

**Anthology of Interest 3**

Chapter 1: Bender

Fry, Leela, Bender and Amy were all sitting on the couch, watching "The Scary Door" in the employee lounge. Dr. Zoidberg was watching too, but no one wanted to sit near him, so he was on the floor.

"Good news, everyone," said Professor Farnsworth, walking into the room. "I'm selling all my old and useless things in a garage sale! Come along Dr. Zoidberg, you'll fetch a nice price."

"Wait, I'm not useless," Dr. Zoidberg said, "Remember when I saved the Earth from my species?"

Yes," the Professor said, "But that was your fault anyway. Your stupid stomach is always trying to fill itself with something. You ate a flag. You eat more than Nibbler."

"Wait," said Bender, "We can't get rid of Zoidberg."

Zoidberg smiled at Bender, knowing he was a great friend.

"If we do," Bender continued, "Who will I be able to focus my hate for living things on?"

"Hey," Fry said, "Why don't we go see what you're selling."

"Yeah, we don't have any packages to deliver," said Bender while he pushed a small box under the couch that read, "Please deliver within two hours."

The crew walked outside to where the Professor was holding the sale. They all started looking around. Most of the things were junk, invention sketches, trash, and things no one cared about, like the original U.S. Constitution.

Then there were a few actual inventions that may be worth something. Leela started to get suspicious when she saw a table labeled "Doomsday Weapons."

"Hey, Professor," Leela asked, "Are these legal?"

"You know, Leela," Professor Farnsworth, "Your organs would fetch a high price right around now."

Leela walked away without saying anything. Fry was almost finished looking through the junk when he saw something.

"Hey Professor," Fry asked, "Isn't this the What-If machine you made."

"Why, yes," the Professor said, "Why don't we try it out one last time."

"Ohhh, can I ask it something?" asked Fry. "I want to ask it what would happen if we all switched bodies. You know, like we took a walk in each other's shoes."

"No! That's a stupid idea!" shouted the Professor.

"Well, how about what would happen if we were there the night Santa went crazy?"

"That's a horrible idea," the Professor said. "Your ideas are so stupid, I bet if they were stories, none of them would ever do good!"

"Yeah, Fry," Bender said, "You need to ask a good question, like 'What if Fry was a robot and I was a human?'"

"That's a good question, let's see," said the Professor. Everyone looked at the screen of the What-If machine.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

December 31, 1999

A delivery boy in a crummy little pizza shop was showing a kid how to beat a video game. He had orange hair, wore jeans and a red jacket. His name was Philip J. Bender.

"Hey, Bender, you got a pizza to deliver. Come on!" Shouted Bender's boss, Mr. Panucci.

"Bender? That's a stupid name," said the kid Bender was teaching.

"Bite my pink, fleshy ass," said Bender.

The kid just laughed and walked away. Bender sighed and got on his bike. He had a miserable life. His girlfriend, Michelle had just dumped him. He had a crummy job. The only good thing he had was his dog, called Seymour Asses.

The pizza was to be delivered to a cryogenics lab. When Bender walked in, he called out for an "I.C. Weiner." When Bender realized he had been tricked, he sighed and sat down on a chair.

He looked out the window of the 64th floor where the lab was, and saw that the New Year was ten seconds away. He watched the countdown, and on one, he blew one of those party blowers. He suddenly started tilting backwards, and fell into a cryogenic tube. He saw it get pushed up to 1000 years, and everything went dark.

1000 Years Later

Bender opened his eyes and saw a guy standing in front of him. "WELCOME, TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!" he shouted.

Bender realized that he must have been frozen, and thought one thing. _'The future sucks.'_

After being sent through the Probulator, which was controlled by some weird one-eyed person named Leela, he was sent to job assigning.

"Alright," said Leela, "You'll be, a delivery boy."

Bender sighed. "Alright, let's get this over with so I can just kill myself."

Bender had a chip injected into his hand, and he was sent outside. He started walking and thinking about how to kill himself. He didn't notice the robot in front of him until he walked into him.

"Ow, watch it bud," said the robot.

"Bite my pink, fleshy ass," said Bender.

"Sorry," said the robot. "I've been trying to work this phone for an hour, but I keep on getting electrocuted."

"Here, let me see," said Bender. He looked up, "Here's your problem, this isn't a phone-booth, it's a suicide-booth. Speaking of which, I might as well use it."

Bender walked past Fry. "Hey," he shouted, "I was here first." Fry stepped in just as the door was closing.

Bender put a quarter in the machine, and when it asked for mode of death, Fry said, "Yeah, I'd like to make a collect call, again."

Nothing happened.

"See, and the moment I hit it, something happens," said Fry. He hit it and got electrocuted. He accidentally hit Bender, and he was electrocuted too. Everything went black.

Fry and Bender weren't killed, but fell out of the booth, unconscious. While they were out, a certain hideous lobster discovered them. He dragged them back to his office, at Planet Express.

Dr. Zoidberg placed them on the couch and studied them. Professor Farnsworth walked in.

"Ohhh, fresh meat," said the Professor, "Good job Dr. Zoidberg. Are they dead?"

Dr. Zoidberg pulled out a stethoscope and listened to the human's chest.

"This one is dead, there's a beating sound in his chest," Zoidberg stated.

"Ohhh, my head," said Fry. "Wait, something's wrong."

Fry studied his hands, head, hair, and red jacket for a few minutes before realizing, "I'm Bender!"

"Hey cool, I'm a robot," Fry heard Bender say.

"Interesting," said the Professor, "Using high amounts of energy to alter the mind. Would you two be interested in being victims- I mean volunteers so I could study this. You'd have to stay this way, but I'd let you be part of my delivery crew."

"Sure," said Fry, already used to his new body.

"I'll need you to go find a captain, someone who isn't as dumb as you or as lazy as him," said the Professor, pointing to Bender.

"Sure, c'mon Bender," Fry said.

"Bite my shiny metal ass," Bender said. Apparently, he had adjusted too.

After a few weeks, Fry and Bender recruited Leela to be captain. Professor Farnsworth created an invention called the Mind-Machine after studying Fry and Bender. Although they were offered the chance to switch back, neither felt like it. They were both happier the way they were. It was as if in some alternate universe, Fry had been the one who was cryogenically frozen.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"That story was awful," shouted the Professor.

"Yeah Bender," Fry said, "You need something like if Zoidberg and Zapp Brannigan switched bodies."

"No," the Professor shouted. "Does anyone else want to use the What-If machine?"


	2. Chapter 2: Amy

**Anthology of Interest 3**

Chapter 2: Amy

**Thank you Superdork398 for reviewing this story and all my other stories. Recently though, I've noticed that a lot of people have just put me or my stories on their favorites list without reviews. Thanks for liking my stories, but please review. I just want to know how to make my stories better. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Futurama, why would you ever think I do? **

"Hey Professor, can I ask it a question?" asked Leela.

"Awww, c'mon Leela," Amy said, "You always get to ask it something. Let me ask."

"She's got a point, Leela," the Professor said.

"I'm Fry, Professor," Fry said, since the Professor was facing him. "And how about if-"

Fry was cut off by the Professor shouting, "No! You're suggestion would probably be about some overly popular book like Harry Potter! (Which I also don't own.) Anyway, what was your question Amy?"

"What would life be like if we could see what a day was like in that parallel universe we went into?"

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Universe 1

"Good news, everyone," said Professor Farnsworth, "We have another package to deliver."

No one was listening to him. Of course, no one was there. "Ohhh, I knew I shouldn't have tried to remove my brain again," said Professor Farnsworth, walking out of the bathroom and tried the employee lounge.

He walked in to see Fry, Bender, and Leela watching T.V.

"Your about to enter a realm where odd things happen," the T.V. said. "Stuff like, uhhh, I don't know, boxes to parallel universes, egg salad worms, and giant flying brains. Stuff like that. Prepare to enter, The Creepy Door."

"Hey, Bender," Fry said, "Turn up the T.V."

"Bite my glorious, golden ass," Bender replied, "Do it yourself."

"Neither of you have to do it," the Professor said. "You have to go deliver this package of PlayStations to Nintendu 64. They're at war with the Sonyians and Microsoftites and need information about the enemy."

"Wait, wasn't Nintendu 64 some planet in a What-If simulation?" Fry asked.

"Yes," said the Professor, "But apparently their real. Only some nerd or geek would come up with a planet called Sonyia."

"Yeah," Bender said, "Anyone who thinks those three planets were good ideas must be some big loser."

"C'mon," said Leela, "Let's stop talking about the idiot using these names and deliver the package."

The trio walked up onto the ship. Leela went to the control room. Fry and Bender went to their quarters. While on their way, they passed by the cargo hold. They noticed Amy and Zoidberg had fallen asleep in there. The crew had just been back an hour from a trip to the Nimbus, and Amy and Zoidberg must have fallen asleep on the way back.

"Hey, Fry," Bender said, "I got an idea. Let's cut off all off Amy's hair and put it near Zoidberg so it looks like he ate it."

"Wow, Bender, that's pretty evil," Fry said.

"I know," Bender said, "But I just keep on worrying on whether or not Alternate Universe Silver Bender is more evil than me."

"I don't know," Fry said, "Let's flip a coin."

They flipped it, agreeing heads would be yes and tails would be no. It ended up tails.

Universe A

"Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoop!" whooped Zoidberg as he scuttled out of the ship. For some reason he had hair in his mouth.

"ZOIDBERG!" Screeched Amy, running after him and trying to cover her bald head, "GET BACK HERE!"

Universe 1

Leela had arrived at Nintendu 64. She brought down the ship onto the surface and stepped off.

"People of Earth, I am Lrrr, of the planet Nintendo 64," said Lrrr, of the planet Nintendo 64. "Thank you for our package."

"Yeah, yeah, look, can we just go?" Bender asked, "I need to think of ways to be more evil than my parallel twin."

"But why would you want to be evil?" asked Lrrr, of the planet Nintendo 64, "Peaceful and calm is a much better solution. We just need to block invasion, we didn't even start this war."

By the time Lrrr, of the planet Nintendo 64 was finished preaching his beliefs in peace and prosperity, the Planet Express crew had already gotten back on the ship and left the planet.

So ends another Tale of (Somewhat) Interest

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Universe A

"That was stupid," complained Amy. "It hardly had me in it at all."

"Well duh," Bender said, "Bender is just better."

"Yeah," said Fry, "And besides, a question like-"

He was interrupted by Professor Farnsworth, "I'm not even going to let you make another suggestion. Anyone else though?"


	3. Chapter 3: Zoidbrg

Anthology of Interest 3 

Chapter 3: Dr. Zoidberg

Shortly after the first scenario on the What-If machine had started, Dr. Zoidberg started to get hungry. He left the area and went searching for something to eat. No one cared that he had left.

After a few minutes of searching for food, Zoidberg found a dumpster. He opened it up to see it was empty. He sighed and was about to walk away when he saw a little slime in the corner.

After a little snack of slime, Zoidberg walked back to the crew. The second scenario was just ending.

"That was stupid," complained Amy. "It hardly had me in it at all."

"Well duh," Bender said, "Bender is just better."

"Yeah," said Fry, "And besides, a question like-"

He was interrupted by Professor Farnsworth, "I'm not even going to let you make another suggestion. Anyone else though?"

"I have one," Zoidberg said.

'What was your idea Fry," the Professor said, trying to avoid Zoidberg.

Unfortunately for him, Zoidberg continued on with his question.

"What if Zoidberg was the owner of Planet Express?" Zoidberg asked.

………………………………………………………………………………………

Leela brought the Planet Express ship down from the sky. Zoidberg had sent the crew out to deliver another package. Of course, it always was the same package to the same place. And the payment was always the same, too. A heaping sack of garbage.

Fry, Leela, and Bender had gotten off the ship and headed to the employee lounge. They sat down and turned on. A show was just ending.

"Awww," Fry said, "We just missed the episode of The Scary Door."

The credits ended and channel square root of two news came on. Since Fry, Leela, and Bender were all too tired or lazy to get up, no one changed the channel. Just as it was starting, Zoidberg walked into the room.

"Thank you, Bender," Zoidberg said, "For leaving my payment in the fire. Once again I was able to remove it before it was destroyed or lost flavor."

"Yeah, yeah," Bender mumbled, "Next time I'll leave it in a pot of boiling water." Bender then paid attention to the news again.

"…There were no survivors," Linda, the newscaster, said.

"Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha," laughed, Morbo, the news monster. "Soon, Morbo's plans will be finished and sent to his home planet. And after the attack, there will be no survivors."

Linda just laughed, like always. "In other news," she said, "In a freak accident, a ship delivering a cargo of over one billion dollars in antiques has crash landed on a deserted planet. Among the cargo lost is a T.V. from the nineteenth century, a portrait of the country's seventieth president, and a tin of anchovies."

Zoidberg gasped, "To the lab!"

He ran to the Professor's lab. The crew followed him, but only because they couldn't remove their job chips. If they could, they'd all have stolen the ship and found some place to get away from Zoidberg.

The Professor was sitting in his lab. He had lost ownership of his company when Zoidberg had eaten the documents saying it was his company. Then, since Zoidberg owned the documents, the company went to him.

The Professor had tried to get the company back, but it didn't work. When he tried to dissect Zoidberg, he just couldn't find the right stomach holding the documents.

Suddenly, Zoidberg ran into the lab. He asked the Professor to borrow the Smell-o-Scope. He explained that he needed to look for a planet with the smell of salty fish coming from it.

Professor Farnsworth walked up to his prized Smell-o-Scope and started searching.

"Whoa," the Professor exclaimed, "That is one salty smell."

Dr. Zoidberg stepped forward to take a whiff. "No," he said, "That disgusting stink is my home planet, Decapod 10. It must be mating season."

"Here," Fry said, "I've had anchovies all the time, let me smell."

Within moments, Fry had pinpointed the location of the anchovies. They all boarded the ship, with the exception of the Professor, who was trying to guess which stomach the documents would be in.

Leela lifted the ship up into the sky and flew off in the direction Fry gad said. The flight was pretty uneventful, except that Bender tried to get Zoidberg to join him in a super heated hot tub.

Leela brought the ship down into a small clearing, a mile away from Zoidberg's anchovies. Zoidberg acted as a hunting dog, sniffing out where the crash was. After a few minutes of walking through a forest, they came up to the fallen ship. Everyone gasped.

In front of their very eyes, was the mighty ship the _Nimbus_. They all stared at it for a moment, and soon they saw Evil Lincoln running from it. They decided they didn't want to know why. Unfortunately, they soon found out.

"Kif," Zapp Brannigan called out, " Which simulation was that."

"Leela 9," Kif answered in his annoyed tone.

"And how many does that leave?" Zapp asked.

"Twenty-nine _thousand_," Kif said, very irritated.

Leela shuddered. How could anyone ever have _that many _fantasies about her? She decided to stay hidden as Zoidberg stepped forward.

"Good evening, gentlemen," Zoidberg said as the sun was reaching its highest point in the sky, indicating noon. "I was wondering if you might know of a tin of anchovies, maybe?"

"Ahhh, yes, my fine, ugly lobster-beast," Zapp said, not recognizing him as a Planet Express member, "They made quite a fine meal for me."

Zoidberg's eye started twitching. He ate the anchovies? Zoidberg let out a scream and started chasing after Zapp.

'I got an idea," Fry said. Leela and Bender gasped. "Hey, Kif! Come over hear."

Kif walked over and the four of them boarded the Planet Express ship. Leela flew the ship away, and neither Zapp nor Zoidberg were ever seen again.

………………………………………………………………………………………

"Well," Leela asked, "What did you think, Zoidberg?"

He wasn't even watching. No one had any idea where he was.

Five Miles Away

Fishy Joe's had recently let out a new product. Fish sticks with real fish. To advertise for it, they had people stand outside dressed up in giant fish outfits.

"Help me!" a mascot screamed, with Zoidberg closely behind him, making odd gurgling sounds.


	4. Chapter 4: Fry

**Anthology of Interest 3**

Chapter 4: Fry 

**OK, sorry I haven't updated in forever. I have three fairly reasonable excuses. I also have a ton of unreasonable excuses, but we all can ignore them. First of all, I have major writers block. Then we have my five after school activities that I am a part of. **

The Planet Express Crew quickly stopped caring about where Zoidberg was, and turned back to the What-If machine. They were thinking about what to ask it next when a loud explosion was heard, coming from inside the Planet Express building.

Soon, a figure stepped out of the building. He was covered in soot and dirt. He coughed and brushed himself. Then the Planet Express crew realized it was Scruffy, the janitor. This gave Fry an idea.

"I know," he said, "What if Scruffy was a delivery person with me, Leela, and Bender?"

And before the Professor could tell Fry that his idea was stupid, the What-If machine started running the scenario.

Fry, Leela, and Bender sat in the lounge, watching the ending credits of an episode of "Everyone Loves Hypnotoad." As they were sitting there, Professor Farnsworth walked in.

"Bad news everyone," he said.

"What's it this time?" Fry asked, "Did the government find that body in the basement yet?"

"No, not yet," Professor Farnsworth said.

"Well, what is it?" Leela asked.

"Due to a new law in safety regulations, I have to place another member of Planet Express on the ship whenever you deliver a package," Professor Farnsworth said. "Hermes needs to stay here, Amy is home at Mars, visiting family, and Zoidberg still hasn't recovered from when he was beaten by Bender with that shovel."

Bender laughed for a moment and saw Zoidberg walking by, a bandage on his head and using crutches. This just made Bender laugh harder.

"So anyway," Professor Farnsworth said, "I've chosen that Scruffy shall be joining you on your travels."

Scruffy walked into the lounge and sat down on the couch. He then turned on the T.V. and fell asleep. "See?" Professor Farnsworth asked, "He'll fit right in with you."

Leela looked at the figure on the couch. He was lazy, dirty, and not exactly bright.

"You're right," she said, "He kind of reminds me of Fry."

"Now you'll be going on another mission," Professor Farnsworth said. He picked up a small crate, and since it was a heavy three pounds, it took a considerable amount of effort for him to give it to Leela. "This crate," he continued on, "Holds the prototype for a new black hole defense mechanism I made. It's to be sent to a lab in the Galaxy of Terror for analysis."

Leela wasn't worried when the Professor mentioned the Galaxy of Terror, he had sent them on so many death trips, the only words that scared her that came from his mouth were "perfectly safe."

"Now, you'll need to be careful during this flight," the Professor continued on, "To get to the lab, you'll need to get past an incredibly large amount of black holes along the way."

"Couldn't we just use the mechanism?" Fry said.

"Oh my, no," the Professor said, "It needs to be in perfect condition and unused when it reaches the lab or they charge a five dollar fee for repair. It would be much easier to simply replace you if you were killed."

"We could easily pay the five dollars," Leela said.

"Much easier to replace you," the Professor said.

Leela sighed, knowing that when the Professor sent them on a particularly dangerous mission, there was no use arguing. At least he didn't tell her it was "perfectly safe."

"Don't worry," the Professor said as Fry, Scruffy, Leela, and Bender walked to the ship, "I'm sure you'll be perfectly safe."

Leela stepped onto the ship, the rest of the crew following her. They all entered the control room and Leela sat down. She turned on the ship and took off. When she left the solar system, she put the ship on autopilot and faced the rest of the crew.

"Okay," she said, "Now I know the Professor told us not to use that black hole thing, but I think it might be a good idea to be ready incase we do need it."

"But the Professor said not to," Fry said.

"If we don't, we might be crushed inside a black hole," Leela said.

Fry just stared at her.

"And be killed," Leela said.

Fry continued to stare.

"That's a bad thing," she said.

"Ohhh," Fry said.

"Okay," Leela said, "Scruffy, why don't you take this thing. It looks like you attach it to the ship's engine. You wait there, and if we run into trouble, you can activate it." Scruffy grunted and took the package. As he was walking out of the control room, Leela faced Fry and Bender. "You two, go do, uh, what do you do when we go on a delivery."

"I dunno," Fry said, "We usually just drink beer and hang out in our quarters."

"Go do that, then."

Things were pretty quiet on the way to the Galaxy of Terror. That was, of course, ignoring the series of explosions coming Fry and Bender's room. Leela didn't really want to know why.

Fry walked into the control room, his hair singed and jacket smoldering. "Leela," he asked, "Did you value the things in your room?" He had a slight guilty look on his face.

"Yes," Leela said, turning away from the controls.

"Great," Bender said, walking into the room. "Then you'll love to know that you can carry it all around in your pocket." Bender then opened his chest plate and a small metal cube fell out. Leela looked out the door to see where her room once was; there was now a giant hole. Those two idiots had somehow figured out how to crush her room into a cube.

Leela was so busy fuming about what had just happened, that she didn't notice the black hole until the alarms started blaring, saying they were going to be sucked in. Leela ran up to the intercom and shouted for Scruffy to turn on the Professor's invention. Nothing happened.

In the engine room, Scruffy was sitting on a chair. He had the box in his lap, but he had fallen asleep.

The ship was sucked into the black hole, the crew never seen again.

"Wow," Fry said. He was impressed, the scenario was great.

He turned to look at everyone else. They had all fallen asleep.

**Finally, another chapter done. I planned this one to have an ending like one in the show, someone dies. I hope to be able to update soon, but I'm not sure when I will. **

**Update on March 17, 2006: Happy Saint Patrick's Day. Anyways, if you're reading this, then I'm currently in the middle of writing "Lost." Just saying that once I'm done with that, which will be soon, I'll get back to work on this. **


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